i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
