You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
