I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
