this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
