I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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