There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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