Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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