Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm really busy with my period
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