he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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