She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
