I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
