btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
