We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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