I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
