my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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