so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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