the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
