Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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