come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
