Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
