me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
