Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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