from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
