it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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