If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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