I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
