ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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