hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
