feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
