Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
