Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
