There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I smell like Dick and happiness
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