When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
