I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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