im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
