you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
