My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
