That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
