then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
