barbara walters just said penis...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
