I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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