The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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