I don't think brook has ever known best
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
