I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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