he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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