what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
