There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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