just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
