It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
