sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
