he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
