I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
