That's intense
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
