there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
