You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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